Ironically, Kat Von D is throwing a side-eye even Hitler would run from. A side-eye I threw myself after reading that newly engaged Kat and Vanilla Gorilla plan to fuck the sanctity right out of marriage as soon as next month. Radar reports that Kat and VG believe that there's no reason to wait and they've already started planning the wedding that will land on Hazmat's #1 event to watch of the year!
A source says that Kat and VG will set up their wedding quarantine tent outside of California and will only invite a small group of family and friends. There won't be any marching band playing "Horst Wessel Song" or thousands of roses cut into Swastikas. They are keeping things intimate, so says the source, "Jesse and Kat don't see any reason why they should wait to trade vows. They are madly in love with each other and want to make everything official. They're planning to take a non-traditional route, which should come as no surprise considering their whirlwind relationship."
Vanilla Gorilla needs more people. Specifically, people who will slap him in his FUCKING COMMON SENSE place. Dude just checked out of a marriage where he stuck his dick his into anything that sent him an e-mail (I'm looking at you, exiled Nigerian prince) and now he's going right back in again? You would think that he'd be happily running through the streets with his pants off. A non-stop dick slappy dance. But I guess it isn't the same unless he can hear a vibrating "Where r u?!" text message from his wife while he's hitting his side-piece from the back. Even the fuckturd that is Bombshit McGee sees this.
That being said, I can't wait to see the matching "Kat's Bitch" and "Jesse's Bitch" tattoos these two will get on their foreheads during the ceremony. They're romantic like that.
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